


Duty of care

by hikarufly



Series: After Twelve Stories [5]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 04:48:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5403629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikarufly/pseuds/hikarufly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SPOILER 9X12<br/>He has his TARDIS, jacket and screwdriver back... Does the Doctor remember Clara... or not? He needs time to think!<br/>You could call it an "academic exercise" but was a nice try! English is not my first language, sorry for any mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duty of care

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cappyforever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cappyforever/gifts), [Naphta85](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naphta85/gifts).



“Run you clever boy and be a Doctor”

He looked at the blackboard and smiled. His TARDIS was buzzing and seemed excited and relieved to see him again. Yes, of course he knew his ship was glad to see him again: it was a TARDIS, well SHE was, she had a soul and she was his friend, his companion, his wife.

He got down to the console, and switched buttons and pulled levers: he had no one to pretend with, now, but he felt accomplished.

He had a new sonic screwdriver (already safe in his pocket), his red coat back (very stylish), and his freedom. He was thinking, though, about that girl in the diner. He had suspected something, when he heard her English accent: was his search already over? His latest companion... he could not remember her, he could not remember why he was not remembering her. The Time Lords, they must have... and the graffiti on the outer shelf of the TARDIS, that portrait... He shook his head. He needed to focus, and he was rubbish at it.

The TARDIS landed with her reassuring noise. He got out of the doors, and found himself in a cold setting: snow was falling from the skies, but it wasn't as cold as he thought. He looked around and he was in a wood, with pines and evergreen trees. The whiteness and the light were almost blinding. He walked down the path in front of him, semi-hidden by the falling snow, wondering where he was going. He found a building, post-modern in a way, and entered. He looked around and behind him, like he could find some clue to where and why he was there.

Compared to the low temperature outside, that place was warm, the atmosphere was moist heat. He could hear the sound of water splashing and steam filling the air. The interior of the building was wood and white coloured, with low lights and relaxing scent.

He turned a corner and found a reception desk. On the other side, a humanoid blue-looking alien was smiling.

«Welcome Doctor, Time Lord of Gallifrey.» said the alien, presumably a he, smiling. The Doctor was about to ask how he knew him, but the receptionist spoke first.

«You have been suffering long, and fighting hard. You forgot, but you have not been forgotten. Indulge, for once, just stay for a while. We do not ask you to stop, just to linger. No one will disturb you.»

The alien smiled again, and the Doctor looked at him, puzzled.

«I always like receptionists: they are kind even if they are treated like cattle or punching balls by everyone. You are creepy though.» the Doctor said.

«I can adjust my approach to your sensibility, Doctor. Would you like me to be rude?» the alien asked, calmly. He had very deep eyes.

«There would be too much rudeness in the room, I believe. Just stop smiling so insistently.»

The receptionist put on a serene attitude, and nodded.

«You are upset. I can understand that.»

«I cannot. I mean, I lost my companion, and I can't remember her. I'm annoyed but not upset.» the Doctor said. The receptionist evidently pitied him.

«The entire building is booked for you for as long as you need it.» he continued.

«What is this building?» asked the Doctor.

«You already figured it out, I believe, but I can tell you its name. It's called Memento.» the alien replied. The Doctor looked surprised.

«You mean someone booked for me the most expensive and exclusive spa in the entire universe? What for?»

«Healing, Doctor. Seems someone knows you are not the kind of men who indulges. Well, someone made it clear to us and convinced us to give you all the time you may need.» he said. The Doctor hoped to understand more but that alien was telepathic, and prevented the Time Lord from acquiring any sort of secret. Ultimate privacy policy.

«There is no one here. I won't leave my desk so if you need anything just think about it and ask.» the alien said, and surpassed his desk. He guided the Doctor to the atrium: inside, it looked like an enormous _Thermae_  like the bathing facilities in Ancient Rome on Earth. He needed not to explain: the Doctor already knew. The receptionist left him to his thoughts.

He got to the Apodyterium, a large changing room. It had cubicles and shelves where the people could store clothing and other belongings, and was beautifully lit by big skylights and amazingly frescoed in deep Pompeii red, with lovely Roman ladies and gentlemen quite undressed. Not to every alien taste, but presumably the paintings were changeable according to client's needs. The air was filled with light, calming music.

He took his jacket off, feeling the velvet under his fingertips and hanging it so that it wouldn't crease. He took his boots off, and put them on a lower shelf. He opened his shirt button by button, from the first at the collar to the last, slowly and mindfully. The white light outside revealed every millimetre of skin, moment after moment. He took off his cuff-links, storing them into the pockets of the velvety jacket. He took the shirt off too, revealing his white translucent chest. His hearts' beating were slowing down: he was surprisingly relaxing, even though his thoughts were running fast. If it had been anyone there, he or she could hear them clockworking. After opening his trousers, he took those off too and smiled when he remembered he still had those question mark underpants. He had told Osgood, of course, when the Zygons had kidnapped Clara... yes, Clara. He could not remember the shape the Zygon took, because he could not remember her. He sighed, and took another moment. He ruffled his hair, rubbed his face and took off his underpants too. He was alone, and felt like entering a sacred place. You go to Church naked because you face your Creator as he put you to this life. He needed to leave everything behind, to be just himself, no clothes, no gadgets, no TARDIS. Whomever booked that place for him knew this. He just hoped wasn't watching.

He faced the six doors at the end of the Apodyterium: they led to the pools, warm, hot and cold, and also to the more modern saunas and steaming rooms.

He entered one of the doors and found himself in another very large chamber, also bathed in light from the skylights, this time with a massive swimming pool at the centre, with warm thermal water, steaming lightly. The windows above seemed frame-less: there was a ceiling of glass material but at the same time it looked like the now blue cloudless sky was the only thing above the Doctor's head. The pool was enormous, in a regular cross shape, with four columns at each corner.

He entered the pool slowly, stepping down an underwater staircase. First his feet, then his legs, his hips, and finally his stomach and chest. He dived into the Tepidarium with a smooth movement, and swam without taking his breath or long minutes.

He knew her name, Clara. He knew she was first a Dalek, then a barmaid and governess, then a girl, a teacher... a warrior? No, her boyfriend was a soldier. Her boyfriend was dead. How could her boyfriend be dead? The Doctor was her boyfriend. No. No! No, it was his mistake, he wasn't... he was young then, well, in a way.

He reached the surface of the water and took a deep breath. How long can you hold your breath? How many seconds in eternity?

«It's all so confused... and I have nothing to do here.» he said, to himself, and his words echoed in the large, empty chamber.

«That is the point, Doctor. You really can't relax, can you? Just do nothing: always running, always needing to get away from your thoughts.»

The Doctor hang to the border of the pool, finding a spot where he could touch the ground, and tried to flatten his wet hair.

«Girl from the diner, is that you?» he asked, looking around, seeing nobody «Where are you?»

«Don't worry, I can't see you. Not yet.» the voice added, with a smile into it.

A lovely smile indeed. He suddenly remembered the taste of that lemonade and smiled too. He blushed.

«I thought you were not human.» he whispered.

«Who says I am not?» she asked. «I might have taken a spaceship and got here. Like people do.»

«You haven't taken it. You stole it.» he said.

He couldn't see her, but she gasped.

«You stole a TARDIS and ran away. I thought about it, you know? The diner, on the wrong side of the American border: I might be confused, of course, I usually am. But then, you see, when you operate a spaceship for centuries you start to recognize a chameleon circuit, especially a human-operated one. And then, well, you might have just been a passenger, but... you found my TARDIS, and brought it back. It was you, painted on it.» he explained. He was so concentrated on talking and showing off, as ever, to notice what was going on.

«And then, you see, I told you if I met her, I would know. And I knew, somehow. I just had to realise it, consciously. And the Zygons... I told Zygella I knew that face, and that I let Clara into my head, and she doesn't leave.»

«She doesn't.» said Clara.

She had put a hand on his cheek, and was smiling. Of course he remembered: how could he forget. He was still blushing, and it got worst when he realised they had the same non-existing swimming suits.

«We've been to church together, remember?» she asked, chuckling. He smiled awkwardly.

«I was different then.» he pointed out. She shook her head.

«It was you. But to be fair, I prefer you this way.» she replied «I shouldn't be here.» she added.

He put a hand on her heart, and felt her shivering, but didn't feel her heartbeat accelerate. She shook her head and took that hand in hers, guiding it to cup her left breast.

«I had to know... do you remember the Cloisters? What we said?» she asked, almost desperately.

The Doctor caressed her cheek with his other hand and got closer, forehead against forehead, nose against nose, lips only millimetres apart.

«Yes.» he whispered, kissing her.

 

_«My time is up. Doctor, between one heartbeat and the last is all the time I have. People like me and you, we should say things to one another. And I am going to say them now...»_

_«Clara...»_

_«No, you are going to let me say them. I already said goodbye once, and I told you I knew already what you were going to say to me. I did, I do.»_

_«I have a duty of care, Clara. I don't have it because it has been imposed to me, I have it because I love you.» he murmured. She smiled, and a tear went down her cheek._

_«I love you too.» she replied. «and whatever happens now, I know what you want to do. You want to steal a TARDIS and run away with me. And I want that too, Doctor. So please, please take me away. But if your plan isn't working, I want to have a say. I want to be your equal.»_

_«You have always been. That is where all our problems started.»_

_She caressed his cheeks._

_«I love you, you stupid old fool. Now save me, and if you can't, or the Universe won't let you, remember this: I won't stop loving you. Ever. Make me become one of your adventures, or tales... or a song. Whatever happens, continue your story, don't stop. Keep running. Keep being amazing.»_

_He smiled, and she got closer, kissing him as she didn't dare doing before._

_«Now I am going to distract them, ok?»_

 

«You didn't accept it. You couldn't...» he whispered «But in the end, you made me remember it.»

«No, Doctor. I just gave my smile back to you.» she replied.

When he opened his eyes, she was gone. Yet he could still feel her touch, remember her laugh and the way her lips tasted. He smiled and he got out of the pool. He dried himself and got dressed again.

The receptionist bid him farewell, and the Doctor went back running. And being amazing.

 


End file.
